more about suffering

I read in my new O magazine about a woman who had her face taken off by a bear. Before that, her house burned down. Before that, she fell from her horse and broke her back.

She said that over time you just get existential about suffering and say, "This happened."

There is profound power in her simple two words. Not, "because I did such-and such, or because they did such-and-such, or because..." No because anything. It just happened.

I think the most difficult part about suffering at the hands of another human is that we are innately made to love. When someone hurts us, it interferes with our ability to love, and the block and frustration are worse than the insult. We want to love each other. Eventually, over time we regain our ability to love those who have hurt us, but the in-between time is very distressing. The frustration of our willingness to love is the greatest part of any insult.

Maybe there's a way to "let time take its course" faster, but I haven't found any shortcuts that work yet. Forgiveness comes naturally, in its own time.