life in the shadow of a volcano

Vog

Blowfish lungs spiked inside

hurting to exhale a volcano
blowing glass and ash

lava tubes for anatomy

blowing Pele's hair into eyes

No Vesuvius days
just a tinted haze
over life as usual

wasn't that
what some Etruscans would say?
if they'd had
descendants to repeat it...

but I'm dawdling

writing a poem
about annihilation
instead of going to work

New Age and Old Age

My New Age friends have been saying the idea that "we create our own reality."

I ask them if that goes for rape, congenital problems, airplane crashes, gifts... and most of these folks say, yes, we create those too. They look puzzled by themselves for saying this, but are determined to see this truth in life.

I didn't really know how to argue with all of this. My sense is that there is a powerful grain of truth in the idea, but the catch phrase "we create our own reality" is dangerous. At best, it is an attempt to feel in control of life. At worst, it is a blame game for suffering.

What if "our beliefs create our truths" is a more accurate statement? Anyone see land mines in this one?

books

I love to read. I keep several books in my headboard, and try to pick one at bedtime that will inform my dreams. If I don't have such fodder, I just find a good novel or series and devour them instead. Right now my selection in the headboard is as follows:

Energy Addict by Jon Gordon (from Jamba Juice)
A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf
The Tibetan art of Serenity by Christopher Hansard
Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner
Writing the Natural Way by Gabriele Lusser Rico

and the next in the Scott Westerfield series assigned to me by my daughter: Extras (I'll have to sneak the one before that out of her room since I pretended to read it and now I really want to.)

The book in the headboard that I'm avoiding reading is titled the Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz. It's so salty that I have to take it in very small bites. It's also not the greatest for reading just before sleep because I have so many nightmares anyway, I don't need to trigger them.

Yesterday I ate up Janet Evanovich's Plum Lucky; and tried to look into Sue Grafton for how to write mystery. But after reading A is for Alibi I'm going to let the alphabet rest, even though I bought a used hardbound all the way to C.

There is a small stack of books on the shelf that I gathered from the used book store and I'll whittle at them as I finish some of my present titles. I want to learn how to write mysteries. I want to write them with a glaze of the romance genre. Is there already the romance mystery genre (a "who's gonna do it?" like Romancing the Stone)?

Death, again

Being tax season and all, I inevitably think about death.

Okay, so it's a stretch of a reason, but I'm preoccupied lately with the idea that we all die. It's not news. It's not happening to anyone near or dear to me at the moment. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the idea.

Dave Matthew's song "Pig" is going through my head. Here are the lyrics:

pig

By: Dave Matthews Band

Isn't it strange
How we move our lives for another day
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should wash us all away
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But looking at blood
It's alive right now
Deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins
Intoxicate moving wine to tears
Drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me
This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see the glow of something bright
There's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day
Don't burn the day away

Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life, is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig,
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years

Oh, just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope back in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Oh, so don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Oh, come sisters, my brothers,
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet,
I'm saying, open up and let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
Oh, that the best is yet to come
But oh, while you're dancing on the ground,
Don't think of, oh, when you're gone
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, dry your eyes, let the love in there,
There's bad times but that's okay, just look for love in there

And don't burn the day away
Look, here are we,
On this starry night, staring into space
And I must say, I feel as small as dust lying down here

Oh, what point could there be troubling
Head down, wondering, "what will become of me?"
Why concern? We cannot see but no reason to abandon it
The time is short, time, that's all right
Maybe I'll go out in the middle of the night,
And take your hand, look in your eyes, my love
All good things must come to an end sometime

Oh, but don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Oh, come sisters, my brothers,
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet,
I'm saying open up and let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But, oh, while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, and dry your eyes, let the love in there
The bad times, well that's okay,
Let's just look for love in here, yeah

Just let the love in there,
Oh love, light up

____________

Okay, I'm not going to light up. But there's some wisdom in what he's saying. My mantra is to shake out this tired notion that the best is yet to come. So, why am I preparing myself for loss? Why am I dealing with the idea of death before it is a reality in my life? Maybe I'm trying to keep from being surprised by it. Or maybe I'm finally outgrowing my teen years and the idea of invincibility? Who knows. Just been thinking about death lately, is all.